What do you do when you knew someone a long time ago, someone who could have been a really good friend, but you were too idiotically narcissistic to appreciate the beauty of the relationship and now wish you had a do-over chance???
signed,
Susan
Dear Susan,
Do-overs; the best childhood idea ever. If you missed a chance at starting a friendship, you do have a do-over chance. Reach out now. Between Facebook, Google & Classmates.com it’s easier than ever to find someone & get reacquainted.
But it sounds like more than just a road not taken; it sounds like someone tossed some litter out the window as they drove by? If that’s the case, there’s still a chance. It’s never too late to make amends. Sometimes we’re jerks, or mean, or inconsiderate, or just plain clueless. Not all apologies get accepted, but if they’re from the heart most of the time they get appreciated. More often than not we didn’t do as much damage as we thought, and sometimes, the offense isn’t even remembered.
Pull up your big girl panties & clean-up your side of the street. Write an email, or a letter & say what you mean “I had the chance to have had a really good friend in you, but I was too self-absorbed/young/insecure to appreciate the beauty of our friendship. I wish I had the chance for a do-over.”
Don’t drag all the trash out to the curb right away, this isn’t a garage sale. The first email is a key that either works & the door swings open, or it doesn’t & you’ve lost nothing but a little pride (and gained a little humilty), or more likely, the door opens just enough so that the two of you have room to talk. And when I say talk, I mean listen.
Face to face now, or phone if you’re far away, listen to how they feel now & how they felt then. Be prepared for them to be angry, or hurt, or grateful, or thrilled. If you’ve waited “a long time” to reach out, they’re allowed to take a long time to reach back.
No matter how it’s received at first, everyone appreciates knowing they’re valued.
Let me know how it turns out –
best,
the jodi
Got a question, a problem, a situation? I’ve got 20/20 vision– 20 years drunk & 20 years sober– and I learned some stuff about life, and death, and everything that happens in between. Ask me anything, I’ve got the answers for everyone but myself.
I certainly will! And thank you!