I haven’t had a drink in over twenty years.
In that time I’ve fallen in love, gone back to school (twice), been evicted, spent a summer studying in Spain, lost a job, written an as yet unpublished book, sold a few of those chapters to magazines, lived with a few cats and had a few pass on, gained weight, lost weight and gained it back again, changed jobs and careers a few times, been in, and out, of therapy, struggled daily with the concept and reality of friendship and intimacy, been baffled by romance, had my heart broken, buried my father and too many friends.
What I haven’t done is drink. It’s been a slow process of trying to find the me that was there before I found it absolutely necessary to crawl inside a bottle and make camp. The booze saved my life and my sanity until it didn’t anymore.
I’m trying to live a sober life, one day at a time, that centers around compassion, conservation and simplicity. There are seventeen screaming squirrels three howler monkeys and one tiny Buddha trapped behind my eyes. I cannot shut my eyes. I cannot stop the screaming. My Buddha-head sits quietly, a calm in my raging storm.
Most days the Buddha-head writes here, but some days it’s the howler monkeys.
thanks for stopping by –
Jodi Sh. Doff
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jodi sh. doff - just slightly to the left of sane...
