Category: middle aged lazy

My vagina can crack the walnuts in my knees.

I’m oddly superstitious, by which I mean I’m superstitious about odd things, like red cars, green motorcycles, & numbers, like eight. I hate eights. This week, I turned 58.

Because you are 96% water, and I am 96% bread.

Because I have fat in places I used to have angles.

Because without you there is no me. More to the point, without you, there is too much of me.