just a little lovin’ early in the morning…

I have a beau and her name is Sparkles.  Sparkles is a golden blonde, her hair glitters in the sunlight and I think she loves me. That is Phoebe she is leaving, to be with me. Me, do you hear that Phoebe? Me.

It was overcast and everyone was busy chewing cud inside.  The pen was empty, so I went out to clean the mess they’d left.  Suddenly, I am the center of a giant living flower, with sheeps for petals. They were bored and I was the floor show. I went, and they followed, clustered around me until they realized there was no food involved. One by one the sheeps & goats abandoned me and went back into the dry.

Everyone but Sparkles.

She followed me here, then there. When I paused she came and leaned on me, waiting to be scratched or petted. I cleaned one half of the cement pen, she wandered over, dropped her sheep pellets in the clean & came back, leaning on thigh as I shook my head.

Maybe this was her expression of affection or approval, that she agreed to poop in the area I’d worked so hard on. Maybe she thought I’d cleaned it for her.

She was right, I did.

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chance meetings & second chances

When I was a kid I wanted to be a garbage man or a guest on the Tonight Show. I’m an inveterate garbage picker, half my furniture has been “found”, and this, this is my version of the Tonight Show. I get to chatter endlessly.

Lately, I’m discovering things I didn’t know I wanted the first time I came across them. Drunk as a skunk in 1987 (most of the 70s and 80s actually) I picked a guy up in the Lone Star Cafe, a singer in the country band, Atlanta. They were booked at the Dutchess County Fair and the next morning I found myself hungover, hopping pigs and cherry pies.  I’ve been back for 15 of the last 20. I’m hooked on livestock, pie competitions, pitchmen & deep fried everythings.

From 15 to 23 I had the same dream every night. In it I die violently four days after my 23rd birthday. I believe in omens and didn’t make any long term plans outside of staying drunk.  Ten years past my expiration date, I ended my old life and got sober — four days after my 33rd birthday (just because I believe doesn’t mean I can read the bones). When I turned 50 I thought, okay, maybe I need to make some plans. I still wasn’t sure what I wanted, but the Dalai Lama says everyone wants to be happy. For me, happy has fur and four legs.   Continue reading

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everything i know about the beach house

I started coming down here 15 years ago to be with my bff. It’s a lovely town where nothing happens, Mayberry RFD. With sand.

(Location to remain semi-secret because it’s already way too popular. When we first started coming it was the anti-thesis of hip. Sometimes you’d find that you’d rented next to a house full of pajama men. Those unwanted men, forgotten by their families, dumped by the state into boarding houses along the shore, they’d wander town or camp on benches or front porches, in thier pajamas and slippers, smoking cigarettes, shuffling, smelling vaguely of urine. One step away from paper slippers. We should have seen it coming. That description sounds suspiciously like the East Village and Williamsburg just before they slid into hipster-ness.)

I came this weekend with the intention of…   Continue reading

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