only the jodi

A search for simplicity, sobriety, compassion, & the right man. Or at least not another wrong man.
July 11th, 2009

complicated oviducts

There was a girl-duck in the pen with the big bunny today. She’s been there for a week or two, this nameless downy white she-duck, sitting on one end of the long pen, George the giant bunny on the other, a nice safe distance between them. They seemed to be pretty good pen mates.

She came from the pond in Wildlife to stay with us for a few weeks while she healed. She’d gotten hurt at the beginning of mating season. The male ducks have been, well, the way males are when they’re mating, focused, single minded, goal oriented — aggressive. It’s primal. It’s hard wired to ensure survival of the species, that need to spread the seed at any cost. She’d been raped, repeatedly, because she wasn’t strong enough to get away or dissuade any unwanted suitors. So, she’s living in a “safe house” with George, who has little or no interest in her.   Read the rest of this entry »

June 16th, 2009

thin skins & tender hearts

Therapy Guy is back from vacation. Now I have a safe place to cry instead of leaking all over town. He thinks I need to cry more, I think he needs to shut up.

‘Did you miss me’ he says?
I admit I did.
‘That’s progress’, he says, ‘you’d never have admitted that a year ago.’
‘Shut up’ I say. I really mean fuck you. He hates when I say fuck you, finds shut up disrespectful. How does he know me so long and not understand that shut up, fuck you, idiot, these are terms of endearment coming from me?  I’m still there, still engaging. It’s playful, affectionate even. My aunt used to call her three boys her “shitheads”. If he doesn’t want to hear shut up or fuck you he really should keep his fingers outta my brainpan.

Idjit.    Read the rest of this entry »