mama's little crackbaby -jshd 08-
I can see my cat’s teeny pink boy nipples.
I have the most annoying cat in the world. He drags broccoli from the garbage to gnaw on in the the living room, like a dog with a bone. He follows me from room to room to room, like a dog with an anxiety disorder. He buries my food, while I’m eating it, steals my popcorn, leaving popcorn crumbs all over. He never thinks poop is quite buried enough yet, given an opportunity he will poop in the bathtub, leaving it totally exposed. He thinks nothing of walking through my dinner plate, stepping into my cup of tea, sprawling across my laptop, pining at least one of my hands to the table. He compulsively rushes into every closet any time I open the door. Every closet. Every time. Left to his own devices, he will climb up my clothes, knocking them off the hangers, scrabble up to the shelves & push everything off. He wanders on the tops of my kitchen cabinets, leaving tell-tale greasy little paw prints on the hood of the stove. He has stolen my underwear & twelve dollars cash money. Given a choice, he will sleep on my face.
I am allergic to cats. Read the rest of this entry »
