Avonte
Avonte Oquendo, an autistic fourteen-year-old, disappeared from his Long Island City public school on October 4th wearing a gray striped shirt, black jeans and black sneakers.
Nine-year-old Patrick Alford disappeared from Brooklyn in the beginning of 2010 wearing a red t-shirt, blue jeans, and sneakers. Jaliek Rainwalker was twelve when he went missing six years ago. Tatianna Lindo was fourteen when she disappeared from her Jamaica, Queens, home this past February.
Three hours after Avonte Oquendo was reported missing, bloodhounds were out tracking him. Three days later, divers were combing Newtown Creek and boats were deployed into the East River. Texas Equusearch offered up horses and four wheelers and ground searchers, drone airplanes, regular airplanes, and helicopters. A command center was set up, and t-shirts—“walking billboards”—with Avonte’s picture on it were printed. The Reverend Al Sharpton and his National Action Network organized community rallies and candlelight vigils. Hundreds of strangers have volunteered their time. The NYPD has invested untold manpower hours checking and posting flyers in all 468 train stations, every tunnel, abandoned station, and bathroom. Thermal imaging has been used to search the marshes. There is a Facebook page, and of course, hashtags—#FindAvonte, #PrayForAvonte, #BringAvonteHome—and Avonte’s mother’s voice repeats from a mobile van, the slightly creepy, “Come to the flashing lights, Avonte.” There are press conferences, and psychics, and lawyers, and the inevitable notice of claim filed against the city–five days after he disappeared, although they have a 90 day window to file–with a rumored ask of $25 million. And the reward money keeps climbing. It’s currently over $90,000.
There is no question that Avonte Oquendo deserves this much effort.
Everyone else
Just under 800,000 children disappear each year. That’s one every 40 seconds. Every single one of those children deserves this kind of effort. But, they don’t get it. There simply are not enough resources to put this kind of effort into trying to find every one of those 800,000 missing children. So, why Avonte?
Nine-year-old Patrick Alford is thirteen now, and still missing. Jaliek Rainwalker is eighteen, and they’ve just recently sent divers into the Hudson to look for him—six years later. Tatianna is still listed as missing. I didn’t know any of their names before I started writing this. I doubt anyone outside of close friends and family does. Strangers don’t know what they look like, you wouldn’t recognize them if you passed any one of them on the street.
You’d have to be living under a rock to not know what Avonte Oquendo looks like.
Why Avonte?
What is it about Avonte Oquendo that makes him more deserving of attention, effort, and airtime, more deserving of all of these resources than any other child? The autism? Then where were the bloodhounds and helicopters when another autistic teen, Liam Rooney of Suffolk County, disappeared on October 19? With the reality of limited resources, the thought I imagine is in the mind of every mother of every missing child when they hear about the helicopters, the divers, the vigils, #hashtags, flyers, police manpower, subway announcements, and the hundreds of volunteers: Why Avonte? And why not my child?
And now, the sidebar of the creep factor/ something is rotten in Queens
Creepier than the disembodied, emotionless voice blasting from that van is Vanessa Fontaine’s response when asked how she came up with that message: Hi Avonte, it’s Mom, Avonte. Come to the flashing lights, Avonte. She replied, “That is something I tell him when comes home from school. I always say ‘Hi Avonte.'”
Avonte disappeared on a Friday, and by Sunday the family had set up a Go Fund Me page (since cancelled)? Although they could have filed a claim any time within the three months, by that Wednesday they’d secured a lawyer and filed a claim against the city with the intention of a $25 million dollar lawsuit.
That’s from Avonte’s older brother Danny aka KingDetrick’s Facebook page. He’s pushing on all social media fronts to find his brother. There’s his instagram, which is a carbon copy of his tumblr, which is a carbon copy of his twitter, which you’d expect to be a carbon copy of his Facebook, but he’s not really active there. Why hasn’t someone so focused on getting the message out changed the cover photos of his instagram, tumblr, Twitter, or Facebook to photos of his brother. Where are the family photos, all the other pictures of this child? Are there just the two we’ve all become familar with? I have more pictures of my cat.
Want to ramp it up just a little bit more? There was a home video of the family singing Happy Birthday to Avonte, in what seems to be an apartment empty of all furniture other than the table the holds the cake, and the single chair where Avonte sits—oddly, wearing a shirt similar to the one he disappeared wearing—mouthing the words to the song while voices of his family sound anything but supportive. That video is tagged @stephwatts – a television crime journalist and producer. Had the family already made a television deal when that was posted on October 19?
#FindAvonte #LetsFindThemAll
an interesting view at a story that may not have an ending… and an entirely different beginning.
Yeah, there’s something in his story that seems to be missing…
I thought I was the only one feeling this way. This whole thing does not make any sense to me. As time pass and so many unanswered questions keep floating all over the web, nothing adds up. I have asked several times if Avonte knows sign language? I asked does he ride the yellow bus to get to school or does a family member take him? I also learned that Avonte had ran away 2-3 times prior to this one. To me that means they were aware of his behavior. Should they have considered home school? should they have had some sort of an emergency plan in case it happened again? This whole story does not make any sense and I’m confused. Don’t get me wrong, I am out there looking for him, posting fliers, asking people and praying every night for him. I also came out with this conclusion: The reason why Avonte has had so much attention could also be for the following reasons: 1- It happened during school hours, 2- We are in elections time 3- Bloomberg is out next year 4- The school failed to give Avonte his 1-1 which means the school (DOE) has a bigger problem in their hands. I am former staff of the DOE and I learned how they used these 1-1 to stay in the classroom where the teacher did not have control of the bad behaving kids,trips, and recess time and lunch rooms, instead of providing the services the autistic child was entitled to. That’s why I no longer work for the DOE. I started to learn all DOE regulations, questioned every decision made at my daughter’s school, volunteered for the SLT at the school and became vice president of the Parent Association just to stay informed and involved. Parents need to know the importance of staying informed and involved in their child’s school. This is just my opinion and my way of venting my frustration with this case that has me so ” CONFUSED”
There is no question that the school dropped the ball more than once in their care for this boy. On that level, the questions that need to be asked are: Why don’t we have the money for proper education and care? Where is it being spent instead?
We chose where our tax money will be spent every time we vote, with every bill we pass, or not; every politician we elect, or not.
My heart breaks for this boy and this family. It breaks a little more for the mother’s of the children who did not get this much support and attention from the public and the media. The ones who are home thinking, “Why didn’t my child matter this much to everyone?”
I have learned how corrupted the whole DOE are. There are people holding positions that in all reality it is just a title. Ever heard of Parent Avocates? Superintendents? C-30’s for incoming new Principals/Assistant Principals? CEP’s? I could go on and on, but the reality is that it is all corrupted. Yes, the DOE is responsible for what’s happened and going on to Avonte, and this is only the case we have heard about so publicly. There have been parents that have settled out of court, and there are those that are not informed as to what their rights are. I could be one of those parents that ask myself everyday, why didn’t I get the same support when my child went missing/runaway? But I don’t. I’m just blessed that I have her, not that it was easy searching for my child alone, expenses of private detectives, and in the streets of Brooklyn at all hours of the day, eventually loosing my job. I’m I bitter, NO…. I’m just so moved how a nation has bonded over this situation, over a child that regardless of being known as a runner (Cause he did run away a couple of times) we know he is Autistic, was under the care of the DOE and they failed but we keep searching.
I do speak to other people about this case and their feed backs are the same. There are many that probably don’t speak about it or doesn’t want to offend anyone, the fact is “We have the right to have an opinion. ” During the conversation with friends, strangers and family members this whole case does not make sense to us. It is not the attention that he is getting, it is the fact that how he disappeared into thin air. The lack of cameras around his area, only one shot of him? The lack of evidence in the whole case, we don’t know if he was kidnapped, if he is held against his will? What else can we do? Yes, there are many other cases that go unanswered, so many other kids even smaller children are missing for years. I can’t help but feel that there is something missing in this case, there is something we are not seeing, we don’t know or don’t want us to know. My only wish is that he is found soon and that with this event the proposal for making tracking devices available for families of autistic children be passed so that in the future we could prevent so many painful experiences/turnouts in the future. This is not to offend anyone but like I stated before, I’m venting out my frustration… “Where is Avonte? What is it that we are missing?
This blog post has such a negative tone. I wonder what could the family have done to make you less suspicious of their motives? They filed notice of intent to file suit right away, because the school was not being forthcoming with information! Threaten a suit, get the ball rolling, and the information exchange becomes dictated by law. In other words, don’t give the school 30, 60. 90 days to come up with a story, lose documentation, erase video footage. They put up a gofundme page because the search efforts immediately became expensive. They were literally paying for people to ride the train and find Avonte. His brother is active on social media and used tumblr (which is where I learned about Avonte), twitter, and instagram to spread the word. Why should his family be cast in a negative light because they are doing everything possible to find their child? Do you know how disinterested the media is in missing brown children period? Brown/Autistic children go missing and they might as well not exist! So, this family gets attention for Avonte and all of the sudden, they must be doing something sinister?! Even after they stopped taking donations? Even though they are still looking for Avonte? As for his mother’s voice sounding lifeless?! She is tired. Exhausted. I have an autistic nearly mute child. Screaming, hollering, running jumping — do nothing to get her attention. In fact, when I communicate with her, I have to keep it even keel, lest she think it is a game and run away. Also, with an autistic toddler – my otherwise minimal decor becomes no existent. So, my b-day videos look similar. Staged? Maybe. So what?! Do you see the boy? Does he look loved & human to you on that video? Good. Perhaps, someone who has him will see that and identify with his family and let him go.
Do you have no capacity to understand the difficult situation this family in which this family is placed?
I agree! What about all the missing children?! But don’t cast aspersions on Avonte’s family just because they figured out how to organize, mobilize, and get the word out. He is worthy and thank GOD he’s got a family willing to find him.
Please don’t misunderstand — I have nothing but compassion for this boy, wherever he is, and my primary point is to question why this boy, Avonte Oquendo is getting so much media attention when other missing children, autistic or not, missing seniors with Alzheimers, missing persons of any age or risk are not. What is it about this case, this boy, that warrants all these volunteers, all these extra hours of police manpower, all this hype? Why him?
I did not say he was not worth it. On the contrary, he is. And you are 100% right about media focus on brown children at risk. But it’s unusual, out of the ordinary, extra-ordinary.
It’s my understanding that the family stopped taking donations to increase the reward, but not necessarily for the search. So, that’s neither here nor there. If $90,000 is not enough to make someone who knows something come forward, $100,000 is not going to make a difference.
Does he look loved to me in the video? No, not particularly, but I’ve worked with autistic teens and I’m aware of the limits that can impose on physical affection. Instead, I listened to the voices, which sounded neither loving, nor connected to the boy. I looked at the surroundings. Do I think a staged birthday celebration in an empty room is odd? Yes, I do.
I am a cynic by nature. I’ll be interested to see how long before a formal suit is filed against the school, before story rights are sold if they have not already made that arrangement with celebrity crime journalist Steph Watts who seems to already have the rights to that birthday video. I hope I am wrong. I hope I am 100% wrong, and this is a case of a mother and brother with a flat affect, a lack of visible emotional response. I hope this boy shows up maybe dirty and hungry, but no worse for the wear. But even when he does, I’m still going to ask the question–Why Avonte? Why is he worth so much more attention than the other 799,999 missing children this year?
Yes. You are cynical.
Why Avonte? Because his family organized, mobilized, raised money, and turned to social media to get the word out. Because Avonte was wronged by the people that were supposed to be supervising him. Because Avonte is a mute 14 year old, with the mind of a 7 year old. WHY NOT? <–That's why Avonte' gets this reaction. Why not celebrate any missing child getting this kind of effort, instead of crapping on this effort on his behalf?
Good for his family for making the effort. This boy is loved. Despite what you think you see in the video. How dare you, removed and cynical (having 'worked' with autistic children) judge their pain, reaction, and collective response? Have you no empathy for the level of exhaustion, terror, sadness they must be feeling? Obviously, you need them to cry, gnash teeth, and rent clothes on tv –for you to stop focusing on them and start focusing on Avonte. The failing is yours. Not theirs. They don't have to parade their pain for you. Shame on you for demanding it.
–and for the record: why shouldn't they be able to sell their story? You have no right to judge the timing. Whether they get $5 million or $500 today or tomorrow – their business. These are not rich people. Perhaps, they could use the money to continue searching for Avonte. Perhaps, they could pay their bills. Bottom line the school district/school/whoever failed to supervise must pay. They must pay because that is the only way to guarantee that people recognize the huge error that was made. That is the only way to ensure that protocols are put in place to protect autistic children. AND since we are not able to go all 'eye for an eye' and lose the one that lost Avonte…someone must pay. (I see no point in addressing the fact that in this country we sue. It's what happens. These people should not be judged because exercise their right to sue).
Did you do such a post about Elizabeth Smart? Why did she get such pomp and circumstance when she went missing? I remember seeing information about her case all the way in rural Indiana. What about her book deal? Do you question the timing of her book deal, or has enough time passed for you? What about the Ohio kidnap victims. Do you have anything to say about the affect of their families? TV appearances? Interviews? What say you about them?
Shame on you. Your question was valid until you began casting aspersions on this family. Better questions: Why don't all missing brown kids get this kind of response? What can other families do to get this response for their missing and/or endangered children? What did the Oquendo family do right that other families may copy their efforts?
Finally, I would like to remind you that Avonte has not yet been found. So while you're following the money, and looking to for the tears of his mother… he is out there somewhere and his family is doing the best they can.
I agree with CONFUSED. They have been more concerned about money. Mom shows no emotions. They imposed weird rules that impeded the serach. Mom emails everyone at her job to donate. Wear this shirt only buy it only from this guy? I post for missing people. 5 years now. If you truly saw all the mishaps you would give up. I removed him from my Facebook page because I was worried about being sued for his photos. I’m a nurse . My speciality is children with special needs. A mom of an autistic runner. When your kid goes missing. Your hysterical. Your not thinking of sueing. I home school. This family lives in upscale NYC. I cried so much for this kid. They call on god but allowed physic? Pick a team. Trust God or witchcraft.
Oh. More insider stuff. I was contacted on my Facebook account to look for a guy man whom had recently lost his lover (he died) I was given this task so that the woman could be sitting at a table for volunteers for Avonte. Now if God gave you an assignment to find a friend? You don’t pass it on for a more highlighted case. All true all tragic.