Naked ladies talk about their view from the stages and laps of the 70′s, 80′s, 90′s and today. We got 16 Naked Ladies in one virtual room for round three of our Holiday Gang-Bang.
We’re tackling the hard questions…and getting some surprising answers.
If you could have a do over, wouldja do it again?
This entry was originally written and posted on January 6, 2010 at 9:00 am on dirtygirldiaries.com
LZ Hansen: Yes! I’d do it again, I loved my life as a whore. I had issues when I was a speedball freak, but that had nothing to do with whoring. I loved brothel life, loved the women I met, not all, but even the bitches I fought with, I liked. I’d do it all exactly the same. I made a stack of money & blew it on drugs, vacations & things. As long as my drugs & rent were paid for, I didn’t need a lot of stuff. Then, as a sober whore, I made the money again & spent it on more things & bigger rent. I got my American Dream, still no regrets. I have no shame. Today, I tell the world I was a whore & loved it!
Georgina Spelvin: Yeah, I’d probably have jumped at the chance to be in a movie even if it DID require explicit sex. I was that eager to be in film and I still don’t see why the actuality of real-life intercourse between humans should be less palatable than a good turtle-fuck on Animal Kingdom.
Betty Dodson: Yes! My naked lady days was throwing or attending sex parties in the sixties and seventies, but no money exchanged hands. When I was a sex coach guiding women through pleasure rituals so they could learn how to provide their own orgasms with masturbation, I got paid. It wasn’t until I was postmenopausal that I did a few doubles with my girlfriends who were sex workers. Their johns were often more polite than many men I’d dated. I’d like to see more women and men better sexually educated and skilled so they could provide their own erotic entertainment. We need to get beyond the only accepted model of heterosexual monogamous marriages, a lifestyle that ends up creating party girls, prostitutes and johns. No one should have to pay to enjoy orgasms.
Nina Hartley: Yes, definitely. I’d have left my first husband ten years earlier and have married Ernest that much sooner. I’d manage my money better (though sex workers are notoriously bad with money management, as a general rule). I’d have taken a stronger interest in the business aspect of porn, instead of just the artistic/personal aspects of it.
Essence Alexander: I’d do it again. I would plan my exit up front. I would save.
Carol Queen: Yes, absolutely. I learned more in the trenches of the sex biz than I have almost anywhere else. There’s plenty of secret know-how between those sheets. I’m not sure I’d really do anything differently except maybe learn better money management skills. I didn’t piss away my earnings, but neither do I have any of that money any more. Of course, my 401(K) is half gone, too, and that had nothing to do with my money management. What I invested in while I was a sex worker was time to develop my writing. I recommend every sex worker figure out what s/he/ze is in fact investing in.
Jodi Sh. Doff: Sure. Knowing what I know today, in a heartbeat. I’d put a major chunk of change away right off the top, investing it in real estate. I’d drink less, say “No” more often and take lots of photographs.
Tracy Quan: In my teens, I met a wealthy guy who had quite a crush on me. He was in his late twenties, very civilized, and he wanted to court me rather than pay for sex. He barely touched me that night and insisted on giving me lots and lots of cab fare as I was leaving the hotel room. Any sensible girl in my shoes would have called him the next day and pursued the relationship, but I didn’t know what to do. I was intimidated, didn’t feel glamorous enough for this rich playboy, so I ran away from the attraction. I should have been more courageous. I should have asked another working girl for advice. Instead, I kept the episode to myself and never saw him again. I was a scrappy little idiot.
Annie Sprinkle: I’ve had a great life, and would love to do it again, and again, several times. I would take a few classes on running a small business, and how to manage money when I first got into the biz. I’d learn to balance my check book, invest, and save money. But then again, I would probably enjoy blowing my money all over again.
Melissa Petro: Today I am entirely comfortable with the person I am, and I recognize that who I am is the cumulative effect of my choices and experiences. For this reason, there is nothing in my past that I regret, nothing I would change or wish to undo. This is not to say that I didn’t make mistakes or that my choices didn’t bring about a terrible amount of unnecessary suffering, only that I’ve learned– or, am learning– from my past and, hopefully, by sharing my experience, I can use my past to help or educate others. The experiences I’ve had, as well as my education, put me in a somewhat unique position to have a positive impact on peoples’ lives.
Antonia Crane: Yes. I’d do it all again the same way. I wouldn’t change those years dancing in San Francisco during The Golden Age for anything. But, if I didn’t keep going back to dancing, I may have pursued other goals more voraciously. I wish I would have gone to school much sooner, instead of well into my thirties, but I’m relieved to have the self esteem to pursue my career now.
Jo “Boobs” Weldon: I would do it again. If I had to do something differently, I would probably take it more seriously as a job than as something that was impeding me. That’s the feeling I had when I was very young–that it was taking more from me than I was getting out of it. I can see the advantages and disadvantages differently now.
Rachel Aimee: Absolutely. I can’t think of a more convenient way I could’ve supported myself through four and a half years of volunteer-editing $pread! In an alternate universe, I would’ve put more effort into trying to be a good stripper–calling customers, buying new outfits once in a while, etc–but in reality that’s just not me and it never would’ve worked. No, I wouldn’t make any changes. I’d do it exactly the same all over again. (OK, maybe this is the nostalgic talking now because I only just quit!)
Caty Simon: In a heartbeat. Escorting gave me financial self-sufficiency, self-respect, new skills, too many things to list here. Only this time, unlike the childish 21 year old I was, and the dope fiend I became, I wouldn’t carry around my ill gotten cash in a money clip and act like a Mafioso, treating all my friends to dinner at the most expensive restaurants and working back to zero all the time. I wouldn’t have the misbegotten impression that what I thought of as “free money”, à la Patti Smith, would last forever, as sadly, so many escorts do. I would save, save, save–at least half my income. And I’d give more of it to the activist movements I’m involved with today.
Kelly Hayworth: I didn’t begin stripping until I was 26. I sometimes wonder if I should have started earlier. I do wish that I could go back and hustle those timewasters I didn’t know how to deal with in the beginning. It took me a while to learn.
Lauri Shaw: I would’ve done it differently. I’d have been more careful which girls I trusted to tell me the rules when I first started. I’d have left my ego at the door, and understood that it was a JOB — it did not define how pretty I was, or what else I was fit to do with my life. I wouldn’t have so readily allowed people to manipulate me. I’d have stayed sober when I was on the clock, kept my nose clean (no pun intended), and socked away money like there was no tomorrow. Lastly, I’d have been honest with myself about how I felt about the job — vs. the way I thought I should be ashamed. I’d have stood up to the world, stripped for another 5 – 15 years, bought real estate, made other investments during those boom years. I’d be sitting pretty right now…
Re-reading my response to this question pissed me off. While I was writing it in late December, I realized just how much of this ending is unresolved for me. I quit ten years ago believing I needed to do something more “legitimate” with my life. Having regrets is frankly incompatible with the woman I think I am. And so I’ve decided to return to the front lines after all these years. At a very different place in my life and in a different country! I’m very excited about what comes next.
I think the fact that I’m older now is great. It will put more money in my pocket. I’ve been on one audition so far and seen the girls. They don’t look any older than I do. My life is very different now as well. I have a husband who’s behind me 99.9% and has his own money coming in. I’ve cut ties years ago with any relatives who’d think it’s okay to judge me. I’ve had several jobs in mainstream entertainment, moved out of New York, and seen a whole lot more of the world. I know the perils of being intoxicated at work and have decided it’s a no-no for me.
Bottom line: I’m no longer that scared little girl who would do anything to keep a roof over her head. I have choices now. And I’m happy to be able to say that my choice is to go be the best stripper I can be, for as long as I can make great money doing it.
Next Wednesday: Final Round of the Naked Ladies’ Holiday Gang Bang: The Naked Ladies offer advice, warning and words of wisdom for anyone just starting out in the Naked for Money business
