I love editing and proofreading other people’s work for many reasons. I love finding mistakes—correction: other people’s mistakes. I love being right, and having someone acknowledge that fact. I love putting things “in order.” And I love answering questions like:
Q: When does a gang bang start? Two is regular, three is airtight, and four is foursome, so does five put you in gangbang territory?
A: Actually, it all depends on who is catching. For a woman, three is a regular threesome and your need four to go airtight (with one penis or penis-like substitute for every hole, at the same time). With a male catcher, three makes it airtight because there’s one less hole. A gangbang (also known as a train as in “we ran a train on her”), on the other hand, is one willing catcher (male or female), and multiple pitchers—usually three or more. When the catcher is unwilling, this becomes gang rape.
Q: If twin brothers ravage the same ass at the same time is that incest?
A: No. That’s plain old double penetration, or DP. Unless of course we’re talking about the ass of a sibling. Or cousin. Second cousins once removed are okay, though.
Q: Where are all the transgender hookers working these days now the old West Side Highway is basically gone?
A: Since the West Side Highway has gone all Javitz Center and the Christopher Street piers have gone all bike paths, public parks, family-friendly, most of the street-based working girls of the trans-type can be found on Roosevelt Avenue in Jackson Heights, Queens. And, many of them have come off the street and work in the comfort and relative safety of 900 numbers, Al Gore’s internet, and places like Backpage or Transgays.com.
Q: What did they call vaginas and penises in the old days, back when there were wenches and m’ladies?
A: Here’s a whole list for the vaginas and their assorted parts, on a historical time line. And another for the penis and its entourage. You won’t be surprised that the lady parts are mostly cozy and cute (mossy treasure, poontang), and the boy parts are mostly ego-driven and aggressive (skyscraper, arse-opener). Personally, I like a nice flap-doodle in my jampot now and then.
