I sniffed my mother’s armpit.
Last March, after the fall that fractured her L1 vertebrae but before we found out that that was where the pain was coming from, I was giving her a thorough head to toe wash-down in her bed.
“Did you ever imagine you’d be doing something like this?” she asked.
I hadn’t, but I was happy to be able to do it for her.
A few hours later, I came back from CVS with a packet of glycerin suppositories and a box of latex gloves. She hadn’t taken a shit in days despite Miralax, Sennokot, Colace, and prune juice.
“Ma, you know how we were talking about things I never imagined doing?” snapping a latex glove on, “Roll over.”
So really, in the general scheme of things, in the big picture that includes the time we gave her too much Miralax, Sennokot, Colace and prune juice. Considering the various and sundry places, parts, and people I have intentionally or inadvertently stuck my nose at, sniffing my mother’s armpit was not really a big deal. But, it was to her.
Big Edie has, not exactly Alzheimers, and not exactly just aging, but a cognitive memory loss that keeps her in the moment and robs her of object permanence. That makes everything and anything that is happening now what happened all the time, what will happen all the time. Pain and depression has been forever, will be always. Joy and laughter was this way and will always be this way. So, when I sniff her armpit because she lost her sense of smell years ago and wants to skip a shower, it is the most intimate thing we’ve done. It makes her laugh like crazy.
That’s my job, to make her laugh like crazy. It helps her forget what she can’t remember.
a precious memory, told with love, respect and humor <3
also, reminds me of having to give my mom a Fleet Enema….had to laugh too,
which was good for both of us
There’s nothing I’m doing for her she didn’t do for me when I was a kid. Gotta laugh, Mary, when roles get reversed. It’s the only sane option. Thanks for reading.
This almost brought me to tears! Even though its humouristic too. Thank you!!
The only way to get through life, humor. Thanks for reading.
Noone knows what the future holds, hu?
What a dideference love makes, hu?
You never know. I would have never expected the level of tenderness our relationship has reached. Thanks for reading.
As ever, I’m grateful you and your voice are out there in the world, laying it bare and revealing poignance. Love to you both!
Thanks for reading, Audrey. And for the kinds words. Sending love Norway!
This is just pure love… I’m not yet at that point in life when I can imagine the gratitude for these types of moments, but this post really helps. Thank you for sharing it.